mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
