Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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