so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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