i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
