brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
