Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
one might say we're banned from that church
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
