yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
