I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
