Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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