i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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