Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
