you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
