you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
