3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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