Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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