you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
