You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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