what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
