Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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