im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
