is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
