Porn is love you can see.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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