So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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