I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
