lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
