So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
