It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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