I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
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I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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