I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
they're like a gay fantastic four
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize