census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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