please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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