i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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