Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
