I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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