I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
