We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize