So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
