Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
