It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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