At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
