it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize