Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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