So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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