alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I need water and some morals
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
