He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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