Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Pooping to opera.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
