Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
