so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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