Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
