White coat. Heels.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
