I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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