what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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