At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
