theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize