If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
