before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
