...so i touched it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
