I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How's work?
Spinning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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