You're so nebulous sometimes
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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