also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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