Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
