What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
