Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
