Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
