There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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