I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
