dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
