i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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