..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
