well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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