Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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